Fucking Up Our Lives, Guys

Let's be honest here, dudes. We're totally screwing things up/over/to hell. Look around. Our brains/lives/relationships are a goddamn mess/disaster/train wreck. We spend our money on useless crap. Our goals/dreams/aspirations are gathering dust like that ancient cereal in the back of your pantry/pair of shoes you haven't worn since high school/guitar you swore you'd learn to play. We're clueless.

Maybe it's time we tried harder/faced facts/admitted defeat and actually did something about it?

“Two. Designed for Your Pleasure"

You guys know about this, right? This is the real deal, the kind of action that gets your blood pumping. No room for pussies here, only those who crave it all. We're talking about getting lost and feeling every bit of the ride.

• Dump that boring stuff you’ve been doing.
• That where the real excitement is.
• Feel what you deserve: a wild, unforgettable trip.

It's not demanding. We’re just offering you the deal.

fellas: Bro Get down with me Me Immediately Tonight

Look, I'm not Messing around. I'm feeling it right now and I need some Satisfaction. Don't Screw around with Small talk, just Get in there already. I'm Wet and waiting for you to Tear this place up.

Don't be a chicken, I know you want to.

Dude! Those Assholes {Want to Fuck Me|Think They Can Have Their Way With Me

I mean, come on! It's like they can't Take a Hint. I've been trying to Make it Clear, but they just {Keep Coming Back|Won't Leave Me Alone . It's getting {ReallyOut of Hand.

• Perhaps It's Time I Get a Restraining Order.
• Dude, Please| This is getting Out of Hand.

I'm Telling You, I just want to Be Left Alone in Quiet! Is that too much to ask?

Let's Fire this Fucking Insane

Tonight, we're gonna turn it up. I'm talking about a party for the ages. We gotta get wasted and let loose. I've got {a playlist on fire|some banging tunes that will have you sweating.

We're gonna rage more info all night long. So, are you ready to get down??

Let's make this a night to remember.

Screw It, I'm Calling the Guys

Sometimes, life/shit/problems just gets too much/out of hand/stupid. You're tired/pissed off/done and the only solution is to hang out with your friends/grab some beers/get wasted. It doesn't matter what you're doing/working on/feeling. Just grab your phone and call up the bros/boys/crew. They'll understand/be there for you/probably judge you no matter what.

• It's a rite of passage/guy thing/solid plan
• Beer solves everything, right?
• They'll probably tell you to chill out/make fun of your situation/suggest a wild plan.